Today marks the beginning of the 11th week of my sophomore year in college. Summer seemed to both last forever and pass by in the blink of an eye. Nevertheless, before realizing, I’m halfway done with my third semester in college.
With the time that I have had to reflect on my self and my freshman experience, I can say with absolutely certainty that I hated freshman year. My roommate situation wasn’t the best. I was thrown into a world that I had never been part of. I was surrounded by people that I couldn’t relate to, nor could they relate to me. I was far away from the people I love. I was simply miserable. However, as time goes by and I have time to think rather than just be, I realize that all of that was my fault. A couple of months ago I decided to sit down and just think about what I wanted to do with myself this year. I was tired of being miserable, and in that process, I realized that I just needed to, as Elsa says, let it go.
But let what go? Everything that was holding me back.
And so, I found an answer to just about everything that made me hate freshman year. I didn’t even bother trying to talk things through with my roommates, therefore, nothing changed. I wasn’t thrown in a world that I had never been part of, I chose to walk into this world that I hope I will be part of. I was surrounded by people who couldn’t relate to me, but I never even tried to relate to them. I was far away from the people I love, but I’m here because of that love.
Yes, this is an entirely new situation for me, but it doesn’t have to be terrible. I just really wish I would have realized all of this sooner…
Because of this epiphany, I decided that from now on everything would be different. I have joined a club and am part of its board. I have an internship as a coordinator in a program that speaks perfectly to my own interests. I am taking the time to truly enjoy the learning aspect of being in college. I’m trying to meet new people and get to know them rather than make rash judgments. I am fundamentally challenging all aspects of myself.
Simply put, I’m happy.
I still don’t feel like I have made those “lifelong” friends you’re supposed to meet in college, but I sure have met some pretty interesting and amazing people here.
Most importantly, for the first time in a long time, I have a clear idea of what I want. I want to start my own business alongside my dad. I want to work for an innovative company (though, I’m still not quite sure of what that entails). I want to start my own organization.
Funny thing is, I even have plans for these ideas. I’m not just blindly saying these things for once.
As of now, I don’t know what my future holds… but I will try everything in my power to make sure that it is as happy and bright as it has been for the last 19 years of my life.
I have just realized that I need to write more. Not necessarily because I want to write for my readers (which there are next to none of), but because someday, I will want to look back at this and just see what I was like.
And so, if you’re just passing by this and decided to read all the way through, thank you. I hope this has helped you in some way or made you happy in another.
But if you’re Seidy years down the line, I hope you have stayed true to yourself. Even if you do chase the money (since you do need capital for your business 😉 ), don’t forget the hopes you had for yourself in 2014. Remember what you want to change and why.